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The Rules of Being the Parent of a College Applicant

dobler college consultingWhen I meet with new families for the first time, I do my best to make sure they know it’s the student who needs to be in the driver’s seat if they expect this process to go well. Some parents are relieved to hear this while I can tell that others aren’t so sure what to think.

They’ve been so involved with everything their son or daughter has been doing since birth that the idea of not being actively involved is, frankly, quite terrifying.

As a parent myself, I get it. But what I also get is that kids have to take responsibility for their college search. They have to figure out what matters most to them and which colleges (note the plural form here) fit them the best.

So while this is the drum I beat along the way, I also make sure parents know it’s okay to be involved, it’s okay to talk about college and it’s okay to have feelings about how the process is going.

It’s just not okay to do any of the following:

1. Calling the admissions office

Parents should not call the admissions office to ask questions about their daughter’s application, to share their view on an unfavorable grade or to try and explain why their son only volunteered so many hours at the local soup kitchen. Parents can and should call a college if they have questions on financial aid or anything to do with costs, but that’s where their dialing should end.

Admissions counselors tell me all the time that they want to hear from the applicants, not the parents. Having sat on their side of the desk for a number of years, I agree. Show me an applicant who has questions and is willing to pick up the phone and have a conversation about them and I’ll show you someone who is demonstrating maturity, responsibility and accountability.

2. Saying “we’ll figure it out” when it comes down to paying for college

Unless parents are sure they can pay for a school through some combination of means, saying otherwise never ends well.

Never.

There’s just too much emotion, effort and energy invested in the college search and application process to allow students to believe in a falsehood like this. For many parents, yes, it may be hard to talk about finances and affordability, but it will be so much better for their son or daughter to understand what is and what is not realistic up front rather than after months of falling in love with a college that will never work.

3. Making changes to their college essay

Depending on the kid, parents can sometimes be a great sounding board for essay ideas. But at the end of the day, this is their essay and it should sound like a 17-year old wrote it.

Admissions counselors aren’t sitting there questioning every last word choice as much as they are trying to learn more about who this student is through the story he or she is telling. Yes, an essay should be well written but in no way does that mean it should sound like a doctoral dissertation.

4. Making this about you

All too frequently I hear from parents that someone they know said their kid did THIS or was accepted THERE or was being recruited by THEM. Many of them feel the need to keep up, if not to flat out compete. I try to remind them that this process is about helping their own child to connect with a college where they will grow and change while creating a path into a happy and successful life. It’s never about bragging rights.

If you would like some assistance with your college search or financial aid process, let Eric know and he’ll set up a consultation to help you with your college planning needs.

Here’s what other families like yours are saying about how Dobler College Consulting made a difference for them.

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Eric May 23, 2016 , , , , , , , No Comments
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Courses and Activities – Making Good Choices

Dobler College ConsultingThis time of year, I find myself in conversations about courses and activities for the upcoming year. These are interesting discussions as students and I debate the merit of their options as they try to make decisions that make the most sense for them.

My advice to them is that their high school curriculum should present as much breadth and depth as possible but that it should also match up with their greatest interests and strengths as well. AP English is a great choice for the student who writes well and wants to be challenged, but is it a better choice than AP calculus or AP chemistry for the student who hopes to be an engineering major?

Admissions counselors will be looking to establish trends in individual subject areas and in a student’s overall academic record.

If you are a nursing applicant, what is your track record in the sciences? If you are a business student, have you taken four full years of math? What about relevant academic electives that your high school offers? Have you taken advantage of them along the way?

You have to read your transcript like an admissions counselor. Pick it apart, honestly assess the strengths and weaknesses and make changes where applicable so that whoever reviews it when you apply, has greater confidence in your ability to pursue the major you have checked off on your application. Just keep in mind that everything starts with your core subjects – English, math, science, social studies and foreign language. With so many college students changing majors, admissions counselors are first and foremost looking for academic rigor across all subjects.

When it comes to activities, the same rule generally applies. If you are an aspiring business major, have you joined DECA or FBLA? If you want to go into criminal justice or paramedicine, have you taken an EMT course and earned your license? Accounting majors, have you shadowed local accountants and learned more about the nuances of their work when it’s not tax season?

Even if you are undecided on what you may want to major in – and let’s be honest, whether you want to admit it or not, that’s most of you – it is better for you to show a depth of involvement in one or two activities that really mean something to you rather than lining up your resume with twenty clubs and organizations that hold little to no meaning for you as you head into your senior year.

Your application and supporting materials should reflect who you are as a student and, more importantly, as a person. Be true to you, invest your time wisely and, when in doubt, make good choices with how you spend your time.

Will all of this look good on college applications? Possibly.

But the greater good here is that you will have gained a greater understanding and appreciation for who you are, what’s important to you and how you want to live your life. There’s a lot to like about that.

If you would like some assistance with your college search or financial aid process, contact me today for a free consultation.

Here’s what other families like yours are saying about how Dobler College Consulting made a difference for them.

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Eric May 11, 2016 , , , , , , , No Comments
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Putting Your Summer to Good Use

Putting Your Summer to Good UseRecently at my house, questions like, “Where are we going on vacation this year?” and, “Is there anything new we want to try with the boys over the summer?” have taken over our dinnertime conversations. Luckily, we have already answered both questions when we scheduled a trip to take our two boys, Brady (7) and Kasen (3), to Disney in late August.

This is new for us because typically we spend our summers traveling back and forth to the beach in Rhode Island. But this year, we wanted to do something different. So, Disney, here we come!

Now, for many of you who are looking ahead to college applications, the questions are the same. What are you going to do this summer? How are you going to spend your time? Is there anything new or different that you’d like to try?

My advice to you, as it is with all of my students, is to first make sure that you have some fun over the summer. You all work way too hard during the school year not to. Whether it’s going to the beach, camping out, or hitting every amusement park you can, go have fun.

Then, and only then, should you start thinking about how to best use your summer in preparation for college. Many admissions counselors love to see students who have invested their time in activities which support their interest in a major or subject area of interest so the key with this idea is that you should try to identify enrichment opportunities that do just that.

Experiences don’t have to be extreme – local opportunities can be found and expenses can, and should be, limited. Here are a few ideas:

Get a Summer Job: Whether it is a job you have held previously, a job you’ve wanted to have or an entrepreneurial adventure such as lawn mowing, landscaping, house sitting, etc., a job can earn you extra money and valuable skills such as time management, leadership, communication and commitment.

Take a Summer Class: Whether it’s a high school class, a community college course, or something offered by a local four year university, admissions counselors love to see students pursue their academic interests to the fullest.

Volunteer: Volunteering for a cause that matters to you can be a great way to use your time and show a college how you have made a difference in your community. Investigate your town’s historical society, reach out to a local animal shelter or food pantry and check out local foundations registered as museums or historical sites – see if there are projects ongoing that you might be able to help with.

Shadow: While you might think you’re interested in becoming an engineer, a stockbroker, a veterinarian or a teacher, do you really understand what it takes to not only get into each field, but to be someone who does it well? Spend some time shadowing local professionals who do what you want to do and learn everything you can.

If you would like some assistance with your college search or financial aid process, contact me today for a free 60-minute consultation.

Here’s what other families like yours are saying about how Dobler College Consulting made a difference for them.

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Eric Mar 29, 2016 , , , , , , , , , No Comments
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Comparing Financial Aid Awards

Comparing Financial Aid OffersIf you’re fortunate enough to have been admitted to multiple colleges you will now be faced with the task of deciding which one is going to be the most affordable option. If you’ve done your homework ahead of time you should have a ballpark idea of what your net cost is going to look like.

Note that I didn’t say net price.

Net cost is your out-of-pocket cost – it’s what the college will cost you after gift aid (read, free money!) is applied to your overall cost of attendance. If the school’s cost of attendance, which includes tuition, fees, housing, a meal plan and insurance, is $55,000 and they are going to award you with $23,000 in gift aid, your net cost will be $32,000.

If you’re noticing that I didn’t mention loans, then good for you! Loans, while a part of financial aid awards, are not gifted money. Loans have to be paid back, with interest, and therefore should be factored in after your net cost has been determined. They are helpful, but you can’t dismiss the fact that they have to be paid back later.

So, what do you do with all of this information as you try to decide where you will enroll?

First, gather all your award letters and take a close look at them. Award letters are not created equal. Some will be incredibly detailed and will include your EFC and the complete cost of attendance broken down into semesters with the award broken down into categories (gift aid, loans, work-study) while others will show just a total for the year.

Second, create a little spreadsheet for yourself so that you can compare apples to apples. Make columns for each school and then break down the costs and the awards so that you can see the total for each school.

Third, subtract the gift aid from the cost of attendance and you will get your net cost.

Keep in mind that the lowest net cost isn’t always the best offer. And this is where you have to look at what kind of loans you’re being offered and if you’re being offered work-study.

You already know loans have to be paid back, but if you were to take out a small loan and that makes up the difference between your top choice school and the second place one, that loan may make sense for you. Work-study can be a great help as well, but you have to remember that you will be required to work on campus for so many hours each week to earn it. Even then, it is not applied to your bill because you earn the money on a week-to-week basis like a paycheck.

At the end of the day, be honest with yourself in regards to how much you can handle. You are making a decision about the next four years based on information you have for your first year only. What happens when the cost of attendance goes up in your sophomore year? What if you’re working for your work-study money and its affecting how much time you have to study? What if you struggle and lose your merit scholarship?

These are all questions you need to ask yourself before making any decisions. Just keep in mind that you have to make a final decision by May 1st.

If you would like some assistance with your college search or financial aid process, contact me today for a free 60-minute consultation.

Here’s what other families like yours are saying about how Dobler College Consulting made a difference for them.

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Eric Mar 17, 2016 , , , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

High EFC? Here’s Where You Will Find Merit Scholarships

High EFC Heres Where you will find merit scholarshipsIf you’re like most people, you were pretty shocked and upset when you found out your EFC. But it is a necessary step if you want to pay less for college as the alternative of waiting to “see what happens” rarely ends well.

Even if you have a high EFC, there are still ways to significantly cut the cost of college. You just have to know where to look for them.

And you need to get past any obsession with name-brand colleges. If you’re looking for a merit scholarship to Amherst, Boston College, Duke, Georgetown, MIT, or Yale, it’s not going to happen.

Why? Because these colleges mostly (and in some cases, exclusively) provide money based on need. Now, they can have a more generous definition of need compared to most colleges, but nobody is earning a scholarship for stand-out grades or perfect test scores.

By contrast, there are plenty of colleges who provide generous merit scholarships; they just happen to be the ones that don’t make the top 50 of national rankings.

It’s basic supply and demand driven by a popularity contest. The most popular colleges are in high demand and don’t have to provide any financial incentives for students to attend. Their acceptance rates are already in the single digits (or close to it) and they are able to proudly boast of increasing numbers of applications year after year.

Other colleges, ones that you may have never heard of, have a more difficult time convincing students to attend because they’re not as popular. These colleges have to work harder to attract students. As a result, they offer incentives to students to attend.

And some of these incentives, in the form of merit scholarships, can be game changers.

Of course, the first thing you have to do is get past the idea that just because you haven’t heard of a college, doesn’t mean that it is lacking quality in some regard. Yes, there are some stinkers out there, but if you invest some time in learning more about a college’s programs, the type of students who attend, how many students graduate in four years, where they go after college and, then what that college may have to offer you in the form of a scholarship, it is quite possible that you may change your mind on just how important the name of a college is to you.

It is possible to find really great deals on colleges; you just have to get beyond the most highly ranked – and most popular – colleges in the country to find them.

If you would like some assistance with your college search or financial aid process, contact me today for a free 60-minute consultation.

Here’s what other families like yours are saying about how Dobler College Consulting made a difference for them.

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Eric Feb 23, 2016 , , , , , , , , , , , , No Comments